Saturday, January 31, 2009
stress+boredness+spiritual downfall= want to die X(
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
you know jealousy, the devil has really attempt to kill me with it, but i drew up my sword, to fight with him-- to the death.
my heart is pounding so super madly now, i am seriously pulling down the stronghold of jealousy in me. i am so not going to let it conquer me. never.
yet, i must admit that i am weak, in need of God.
3weeks before i see the cg once more.
3weeks before i can experience God more.
what happens if i really cry? God bottle up my every tears. woah, look at the rate my heart is going. i need spiritual advice now.
God, save me. save me. save me. SAVE ME.
do you feel like giving up sometimes? i do. i really feel like doing so, but God is telling me to hang on, people are telling me to hang on. i am telling myself to hang on. i look at my past, i never want to go back again, i am totally disgusted by it. i dont wanna return, yet, it seems that i did not proceed.
why all of a sudden i feel lonely again?
why all of a sudden, i feel that i am no longer in my spiritual family?
why all of a sudden, i feel so wrong again, although knowing that i shouldnt feel this way?
why all of a sudden, i feel, so dead?
i need answers, and help. God save me..
my heart is pounding so super madly now, i am seriously pulling down the stronghold of jealousy in me. i am so not going to let it conquer me. never.
yet, i must admit that i am weak, in need of God.
3weeks before i see the cg once more.
3weeks before i can experience God more.
what happens if i really cry? God bottle up my every tears. woah, look at the rate my heart is going. i need spiritual advice now.
God, save me. save me. save me. SAVE ME.
do you feel like giving up sometimes? i do. i really feel like doing so, but God is telling me to hang on, people are telling me to hang on. i am telling myself to hang on. i look at my past, i never want to go back again, i am totally disgusted by it. i dont wanna return, yet, it seems that i did not proceed.
why all of a sudden i feel lonely again?
why all of a sudden, i feel that i am no longer in my spiritual family?
why all of a sudden, i feel so wrong again, although knowing that i shouldnt feel this way?
why all of a sudden, i feel, so dead?
i need answers, and help. God save me..
Monday, January 26, 2009
CNY is irritating.
i miss service so much. awww T.T
i miss service so much. awww T.T
Friday, January 23, 2009
oh well. here i am to blog agaiN!
financial issues are seriously bugging me like MAD.
cant go out with my friends to east coast, becos of one issue: NO MONEY
freaking heck, get $500 cannot get any money out, my mum's excuse: new year alot of people, wait for next week.
seriously rolling my eyes now. O.o
this week was rather eventful. irritated Gerard BONG with my singing. come on! i was just muttering songs under my breathe, PLEASE.
after all, i still find Mr Qwayle such an engaging and hilarious person. he put seriousness, but also have fun in his lesson EVERYTIME. i never fail to laugh in his lessons. lol
he started dancing, making a fool out of joel LOL. here's the imaginary oral exam conversation.
Mr Qwayle: Come in!
(joel walks in)
Joel: good morning mr qwayle.
(mr qwayle smiles foolishly and bat his eye lids.)
Mr qwayle: well good morning!! take a seat, can i see your ic please?
(joel sits down, give an invisble ic to him, he examines the invisible ic, gave it back to him)
(joel stretches forward to take the ic)
mr qwayle: OH! it dropped(the ic)
(joel has to bend down and pick up the "ic")
LOL
its super funny sia. haha. dunno why, but music started playing in the PA system, and mr qwayle started dancing. LOL. haha :D
well, heres it. :D
financial issues are seriously bugging me like MAD.
cant go out with my friends to east coast, becos of one issue: NO MONEY
freaking heck, get $500 cannot get any money out, my mum's excuse: new year alot of people, wait for next week.
seriously rolling my eyes now. O.o
this week was rather eventful. irritated Gerard BONG with my singing. come on! i was just muttering songs under my breathe, PLEASE.
after all, i still find Mr Qwayle such an engaging and hilarious person. he put seriousness, but also have fun in his lesson EVERYTIME. i never fail to laugh in his lessons. lol
he started dancing, making a fool out of joel LOL. here's the imaginary oral exam conversation.
Mr Qwayle: Come in!
(joel walks in)
Joel: good morning mr qwayle.
(mr qwayle smiles foolishly and bat his eye lids.)
Mr qwayle: well good morning!! take a seat, can i see your ic please?
(joel sits down, give an invisble ic to him, he examines the invisible ic, gave it back to him)
(joel stretches forward to take the ic)
mr qwayle: OH! it dropped(the ic)
(joel has to bend down and pick up the "ic")
LOL
its super funny sia. haha. dunno why, but music started playing in the PA system, and mr qwayle started dancing. LOL. haha :D
well, heres it. :D
Saturday, January 17, 2009
hey!! i am back agaiN! its been like 6days since i last blogged. HAHA!
oh mann. the sec1s aint here in my cca yet! i must really push Mrs. Roche to get them to come! must make things happen!!!
had an arguement with my parents ytd, only thing is that i didnt argue, but i talked, yes, TALKED to them, not about me, but for my sister and i. haha! they was yelling back at me lar, but i think the thing that impacted them the most is that i didnt even flare up LOL.
parents are ever so contradiciting LOL. my mum said that she didnt want us to go church so many times is becos not becos of no money lets us go, but she say that the hour spent is too long, nvr spend time at home.
but my dad, say that he cant let us go out too much becos of bus fare and money for lunch/dinner. so hilarious sia, people from the same side contradict each other. LOL
people have another wrong impression of church again. church is NOT and NEVER is just service and end-of-story. what Pastor say is right, "church build the people, not people build the church" and thus it appeals here is that there will be lessons, activities, ministries to build the people, and not just plain services, but much more! i am kind of dissapointed to hear some parent who said that he just let his son go Heart of God church for services, no lingering behind after that, not staying behind, but just go home straightaway. how dissapointing to hear that the parent is a christian too. just a believer, not a discipler?
ahhh, whatever it is, i will just surrender all. everything. to God. i know He can help me :D
Amen to that!
oh mann. the sec1s aint here in my cca yet! i must really push Mrs. Roche to get them to come! must make things happen!!!
had an arguement with my parents ytd, only thing is that i didnt argue, but i talked, yes, TALKED to them, not about me, but for my sister and i. haha! they was yelling back at me lar, but i think the thing that impacted them the most is that i didnt even flare up LOL.
parents are ever so contradiciting LOL. my mum said that she didnt want us to go church so many times is becos not becos of no money lets us go, but she say that the hour spent is too long, nvr spend time at home.
but my dad, say that he cant let us go out too much becos of bus fare and money for lunch/dinner. so hilarious sia, people from the same side contradict each other. LOL
people have another wrong impression of church again. church is NOT and NEVER is just service and end-of-story. what Pastor say is right, "church build the people, not people build the church" and thus it appeals here is that there will be lessons, activities, ministries to build the people, and not just plain services, but much more! i am kind of dissapointed to hear some parent who said that he just let his son go Heart of God church for services, no lingering behind after that, not staying behind, but just go home straightaway. how dissapointing to hear that the parent is a christian too. just a believer, not a discipler?
ahhh, whatever it is, i will just surrender all. everything. to God. i know He can help me :D
Amen to that!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
havent been doing quiet time at all, havent been reading the bible, havent been able to praise and worship God, havent been able to just being with God for a long time, the usual time i usually spend with Him.
what's happening to me?
i look at denzel and he frequently tells me he is going to do his quiet time. and sometimes i like just see him as my past self. sometimes i treat him as a good person to follow. like he had risen far higher and above than me. i look at myself and sigh, but smiles in the end, cos i know, that God is still with me. Philippians 4:11"i am not saying this because i am in need, for i have learnt to be content whatever the circumstance"
"Now without Faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him"
i look at everyone. everyone has sped infront of me, but i am still running this race, slowly, out of breathe, but i still smile and continue smiling, cos God is still with me.
this few weeks of Spiritual tests wears me out, wavers my stand so much, till i just want to give up, everything i now have, give up christianity, give up God. i look at my past, and my present, i really cry, i dont wanna go back, but i dont know to proceed. when i am lost, i tend to cry. sometimes i ask myself: why are you so dumb?? Go seek God!!
yet, everytime i dont seek Him first. i may be a christian for so long, yet i am easy to break, and set aback. but most fortunately, i am ready, to be made ready, to wanna stand strong in my convictions, what i have been doing.
PM this sun was powerful, Galations 6:9
God is telling me, i will reap, as long as i continue to love people, do what i have been doing great.
sometimes i just deny God, and dont aline my thoughts with Him. i go off the wrong direction again by continuously think that i am not Good enough, not strong, not powerful, not matured enough.
will you this day be like me and think of giving up?
will you this day make the mistake i have once make?
will you be like me, just having a sick atittude of self-condemnaton?
The love of God triumphs it all.
The love of God.
wow.
what's happening to me?
i look at denzel and he frequently tells me he is going to do his quiet time. and sometimes i like just see him as my past self. sometimes i treat him as a good person to follow. like he had risen far higher and above than me. i look at myself and sigh, but smiles in the end, cos i know, that God is still with me. Philippians 4:11"i am not saying this because i am in need, for i have learnt to be content whatever the circumstance"
"Now without Faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him"
i look at everyone. everyone has sped infront of me, but i am still running this race, slowly, out of breathe, but i still smile and continue smiling, cos God is still with me.
this few weeks of Spiritual tests wears me out, wavers my stand so much, till i just want to give up, everything i now have, give up christianity, give up God. i look at my past, and my present, i really cry, i dont wanna go back, but i dont know to proceed. when i am lost, i tend to cry. sometimes i ask myself: why are you so dumb?? Go seek God!!
yet, everytime i dont seek Him first. i may be a christian for so long, yet i am easy to break, and set aback. but most fortunately, i am ready, to be made ready, to wanna stand strong in my convictions, what i have been doing.
PM this sun was powerful, Galations 6:9
God is telling me, i will reap, as long as i continue to love people, do what i have been doing great.
sometimes i just deny God, and dont aline my thoughts with Him. i go off the wrong direction again by continuously think that i am not Good enough, not strong, not powerful, not matured enough.
will you this day be like me and think of giving up?
will you this day make the mistake i have once make?
will you be like me, just having a sick atittude of self-condemnaton?
The love of God triumphs it all.
The love of God.
wow.
Friday, January 09, 2009
alright! i havent been blogging lately, so HERE I AM! :D
heard that leona broke his test tubes when measuring the test tube's diameter with a vernier caliper. LOL, nice one leona! :D:D:D
but Ms Lee warned us not to screw until so tight until it break, so, haha, i lucky! :D
this few days had been rather busy. and i havent been like blogging, cos i will play the com. X( tmr is cca maze. i am so gonna show off my skills. i think what i really am good am is that i can draw. i gonna draw and scan. haha.
now, i can have one more extra day i can go home early:friday.
cca extends from 2-5. woots.
when mrs. roche appoints me chairman, brian had abit of an objection. haha!
well, i am so gonna continue what i have been doing, be it creative enough or not, i believe that God has an even BETTER plan for me! :D:D:D
tata, cant blog long. i am going to have an earlier night today. feel like chatting with someone. :D hahah! i will call my "di" that is Aaron!!! CALL ME KOR! :D:D:D:D:D lol...
p.s. invited Gerard, but cant, he request next week. WOOTS. :D
Saturday, January 03, 2009
so sorry guys! i have left the blog dead, since i blogged in f203 blog, i was too lazy to blog here LOL.
anyway, school starts! hooray? haha. this revival is really starting man! :)
denzel was asking me"what if the group(mshs grp) grew so big till 20 people, then how ar?"
then i was like saying"then, we shall be leading this people"
he said"huh? me?"
haha. denzel have vision, just that he dun have enough faith to do it. JIA YOU. continue to build your foundation of faith in God man!
anyway, haha.20 is not enough, i was moved by God to get 50. HAHA. lol. JY man, to those who are starting a revival too. you are great and awesome! :D
OOOH i noticed sumthing.
God moved me 5 lives last year. so this year, He is moving me 10times MORE! :D
awesome. haha
i loaded this verses into my mac dashboard: Ephesians 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us
haha, i believe, that God is able, when we are disable(sounds familiar??) haha.
JY mshs, JY See Yu Xiang, JY denzel ng, Jy Aaron, Jy edmund.
love you guys