Wednesday, December 30, 2009
hey guys! i am back into business. i feel so dumb! its like a few months i have stopped blogging, just been very amazed by some people and their rate of growth. its amazing. sometimes i cant help but feel insecure or jealous that they are doing so great, but i gotta let go of emotions into God's hands. i gotta start controlling who i am. outside i may seem like a super nice guy, but deep inside i can be really like a monster. i was ashamed and hated myself for thinking thoughts that i dont want to think, letting my thoughts get out and loose, thats how i just lost control of everything. sometimes i keep feeling that God doesnt love me anymore, God doesnt care about me anymore, but thats not true. God has proved to me His love, twice through the bible. about Zion, about Ephraim.
Zion and Ephraim are two cities that has went against God. but God mentioned that no matter what happens, God still loves them, God still etched their names on the palm of his hands, telling them that God's heart still have them.
God of Ephriam, God of Zion.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
i am creating a new blog, yet i dont bother to update mine!! hahaha. maybe i will focus my posts on tumblr for F6 ba, but this com is super slow. haha.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
hey guys, a long time since i blogged. i just feel this urge, to say something long, yet i know that no one would have that much time to listen to this.. hhaa.
i feel sad.
sad, not for myself, but for the sheeps that are following God.some people gets saved, excited for God, and love God till they are willing to go to the end of the earth, yet not long later, they tell themselves God is not real and they leave Him.
what do people treat God for?
i just feel quite angry for God, that many people has been touched by His love, and experienced countless blessings and breakthroughs with Him, yet in the end they curse God and leave Him. what do they take God for?
my God is a merciful one, bless Him.
i wont deny that i have thoughts of backsliding.
but i am still standing strong here, though sometimes i struggle, i struggle with all my might and faith to keep myself alive in Him. life is like this, we HAVE to struggle at times!
sometimes, its just really encounters that shows you how much you love Him and love people.
last saturday, i nearly had twice of a car accident, i shall not elaborate further, but this though ran across my head : if i am not there anymore, lesser lives willl be saved and touched by God. i dont want that.
i refuse to die until i get as many lives saved. i know one day God is going to call me up. i will accept it, but i shall look forward. the legacy and foundations i have laid will be kept on by the future generation.
how many times i had failed.
yet He still tells me.
"See, i have this day set you over the nations, and over the kingdoms, to root out and to pull down, to destroy and to pull down, to build and to plant." Jeremiah 1:10
i just feel something is stirring inside. something is moving my heart so much.
I do ask myself, am i loving God and people enough? and its this feelings and emotions, and circumstances that tells me, yes, you are.
I am a failure before Him, but i am His prince, His Son in His eyes.
God, people can fall away, but i will not, i refuse.
even if theres 10000001 reasons to doubt you.
i will still have 1 reason to worship you.
and thats all because of you.
its all because of you
and what you have done.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
heey guys!!! yesterday was the coolest day ever! this is the firrst time we had hanged out with cheryl for so long, and for so FUN!!!!! arcade and movies are THE BEST.
if you are going to watch 500 days of summer, please change your mind mann.
during the movie, i smsed Cheryl and asked her if she was sleeping. HAHA.
she asked me if people on my left enjoyed the movie.
and i said, "yep, they seem quite interested"
She said "haha, good"
and i exclaimed "No... if they are interested in this kind of show, its so wrong. haha. "
oh well, thats just the world, we are just seeking to be entertained, but i think for me, its not the right kind of entertainment. should have ATE meatballs, erm sorry, watch meatballs. HAHA.
its awesome man, you shld look at the photos that we have in Cheryl's facebook. hanging out with cheryl is the MOST FUN THING ever!
hahahahaha (: wanna be like her! next time leading my own CG, just going out with my friends and really building relationship and learning from each other and knowing each other. Its awesome man!
fourth dimension is such a great book mann (: i am going to try praying more spiritually, more powerfully later. (:
2 Timothy 3:13-14
But evil men will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived. But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned.
a verse that God gave me when i was doubting. when you doubt, just dont care! just keep telling yourself, i have learned this from pastor, my leaders and they learnt from God, so i can trust them and be assured. and just keep doing what you have been doing! dont be afraid, just keep doing! (:
just keep on keeping on! (:
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Hey guys. just felt like blogging, about F23.
F23 to me is not only just a CG, its like a family, when i know about that we are going to split CG, i was both sad, yet excited (:
its been around a year since i was in F23. i remember i came at around this point of date into F23 when Samantha asked me if i wanted to join F23. i was initially afraid, but i was quite assured when i knew Jordan. he was a really nice guy and he encouraged me to jump with him during zone f service. and i did. hahah. that was my first time jumping, and it was a good experience, now you want me to jump in church, i can do so anytime. HAHA. F23 was a great family to me and i never forget about it. i grew to become closer with Nicholas, and he soon became my leader. The first CG i attended was in december. i remembered Cheryl commented about me being a "friend producer". and apparently everyone laughed about it. HAHA. it was a week after i came into F23 and it was me and my denzel's birthday. then the CG celebrated our birthday for us (:
a few months had passed and i remembered that i shared testimony at main service in Feb with Nick and Jordan.
F23 had been such a great place for me to learn and to grow so much closer to God. it was amazing (: i believe that F61 is going to be a place to grow others as well, just the way i had grown in F23.
i love F23
and i love F61.
The Future Is Gonna Be Amazing (:
Monday, September 14, 2009
Into your hands
I commit again
with all I am
to you Lord
You hold my world
in the palm of your hand
and i am yours
Jesus I believe in You
Jesus I belong to You
You're The Reason That I Live
The Reason That I sing
With All I am
I'll walk with You
wherever You go
through tears and joy
I'll trust in You
and I will live in all of Your ways
Jesus I believe in You
Jesus I belong to You
You're the reason that I live
the reason that I sing
With All I Am
i will worship
i will worship you
i will worship you
i will worship you
I promise, never to shed a single tear for this world anymore.
God, I love you.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
today was quite a phew.
i managed to made it for BMT(A), but i was intending to go for main service as well.
BMT ended at 12noon. and the whole thing was quite a rush with 5mins of break in between. lol.
when BMT ended,went down with Aaron. at first we wanted to buy green tea for Cheryl, then realised that we didnt have the money. haha.
When we were in NTUC, this was what happened...
called mum, asked if i can go for main...
she shouted me down...
in long johns: "Should i go or not ar??" *talking to myself*
alright, i will go no matter the cost.
my conviction, from today onwards, is THIS: I will respond to the call of God, no matter what the cost,i will go for Him!!!!
then i was determined, despite knowing that i would get into trouble.
then my sister called, and told something about being wise, which was quite true. and i hesitated. really hesitated. i started to doubt, to waver, shaken so powerfully that i lost sight, and i was so confused.
sorry Marcus, i let you see the emo side of me. haha...
at that point, i seriously didnt thought of anything else, except for : next week bmt, shouts,quarrels, cold war, dissapointments.
i felt so lost at that time and i got so confused. my mind wasnt right, it went straight off the main road.
at that time, i didnt even thought of seeking God. gosh.
i just sat there, lost. stared. debated.
went to macs with Marcus, had a great talk with him.
at that point, i was, completely, lost. i didnt even had a clear thinking. i was worked up, nervous, heart pumping like crazy, swallowed lots of saliva, you can tell how worked-up i was at that time. haha.
i think, what Marcus said was quite true, which really impacted me alot.
Walk this Christian walk and never look back.(by Pastor Lia)Dont look to the left, to the right, just FOCUS on God!!! even if we are wrong, just smile and get over it. learn from it.
from the moment, i stood up and told Marcus "let's go", i feel something lifted up from my heart. like a burden was gone. i felt a much stronger peace, a much simpler mind, and my thoughts cleared off.
had a really great service. Pastor Kevin was great! Just realised that i am not boring :D heng ar! LOL.
when i got home, i was stepping in front of the gate. i heard my mum's voice. i told God, "God, give me strength"
and i opened the door and went in.
i told myself not to say anything, just keep quiet.
it lasted for 45mins, and the worse thing is, i nearly fell asleep. LOL
i was feeling so drowsy! you gotta understand mann, i woke up at 6.55am for BMT. HAHA.
felt so tired, but energised again when i worshipped God.
felt my faith rising, and my hopes too (:
i think, it really matters to trust and convictions.
i really gotta trust God WITH ALL MY LIFE. even if it means the ability to go church against my parent's will. I gotta lay down my life! ALL my life!
Convictions, what can i say?
felt that i was spiralling down for quite awhile.
but not anymore.
i think probably, this is because God is in this period of really toughening me up, really strenghten me and building me.
of all the things that was hurled at me, i was able to maintain. its just the period before the hurling part that i have to decide if i wanted to be hurled at.
decision changes our life. i cant afford to be indecisive!!
theres so much in my life that i need to change. i suddenly felt like a new christian. haha! i am already one year old. i still dont have what it takes to be a PTL just yet...
when situations get out of hand,
i think i gotta really stay calm. if things the day before happened, i didnt got upset the next day.i think i must learn on the situation itself to keep my emotions under control.
bye guys. today was such a day.
i thank God for His presence, His power. i thank Him for giving me great friends.
thanks Marcus. (: Love you mann. haha.
the fight of PO. continues...