Sunday, September 13, 2009
today was quite a phew.
i managed to made it for BMT(A), but i was intending to go for main service as well.
BMT ended at 12noon. and the whole thing was quite a rush with 5mins of break in between. lol.
when BMT ended,went down with Aaron. at first we wanted to buy green tea for Cheryl, then realised that we didnt have the money. haha.
When we were in NTUC, this was what happened...
called mum, asked if i can go for main...
she shouted me down...
in long johns: "Should i go or not ar??" *talking to myself*
alright, i will go no matter the cost.
my conviction, from today onwards, is THIS: I will respond to the call of God, no matter what the cost,i will go for Him!!!!
then i was determined, despite knowing that i would get into trouble.
then my sister called, and told something about being wise, which was quite true. and i hesitated. really hesitated. i started to doubt, to waver, shaken so powerfully that i lost sight, and i was so confused.
sorry Marcus, i let you see the emo side of me. haha...
at that point, i seriously didnt thought of anything else, except for : next week bmt, shouts,quarrels, cold war, dissapointments.
i felt so lost at that time and i got so confused. my mind wasnt right, it went straight off the main road.
at that time, i didnt even thought of seeking God. gosh.
i just sat there, lost. stared. debated.
went to macs with Marcus, had a great talk with him.
at that point, i was, completely, lost. i didnt even had a clear thinking. i was worked up, nervous, heart pumping like crazy, swallowed lots of saliva, you can tell how worked-up i was at that time. haha.
i think, what Marcus said was quite true, which really impacted me alot.
Walk this Christian walk and never look back.(by Pastor Lia)Dont look to the left, to the right, just FOCUS on God!!! even if we are wrong, just smile and get over it. learn from it.
from the moment, i stood up and told Marcus "let's go", i feel something lifted up from my heart. like a burden was gone. i felt a much stronger peace, a much simpler mind, and my thoughts cleared off.
had a really great service. Pastor Kevin was great! Just realised that i am not boring :D heng ar! LOL.
when i got home, i was stepping in front of the gate. i heard my mum's voice. i told God, "God, give me strength"
and i opened the door and went in.
i told myself not to say anything, just keep quiet.
it lasted for 45mins, and the worse thing is, i nearly fell asleep. LOL
i was feeling so drowsy! you gotta understand mann, i woke up at 6.55am for BMT. HAHA.
felt so tired, but energised again when i worshipped God.
felt my faith rising, and my hopes too (:
i think, it really matters to trust and convictions.
i really gotta trust God WITH ALL MY LIFE. even if it means the ability to go church against my parent's will. I gotta lay down my life! ALL my life!
Convictions, what can i say?
felt that i was spiralling down for quite awhile.
but not anymore.
i think probably, this is because God is in this period of really toughening me up, really strenghten me and building me.
of all the things that was hurled at me, i was able to maintain. its just the period before the hurling part that i have to decide if i wanted to be hurled at.
decision changes our life. i cant afford to be indecisive!!
theres so much in my life that i need to change. i suddenly felt like a new christian. haha! i am already one year old. i still dont have what it takes to be a PTL just yet...
when situations get out of hand,
i think i gotta really stay calm. if things the day before happened, i didnt got upset the next day.i think i must learn on the situation itself to keep my emotions under control.
bye guys. today was such a day.
i thank God for His presence, His power. i thank Him for giving me great friends.
thanks Marcus. (: Love you mann. haha.
bye! (:
the fight of PO. continues...
i managed to made it for BMT(A), but i was intending to go for main service as well.
BMT ended at 12noon. and the whole thing was quite a rush with 5mins of break in between. lol.
when BMT ended,went down with Aaron. at first we wanted to buy green tea for Cheryl, then realised that we didnt have the money. haha.
When we were in NTUC, this was what happened...
called mum, asked if i can go for main...
she shouted me down...
in long johns: "Should i go or not ar??" *talking to myself*
alright, i will go no matter the cost.
my conviction, from today onwards, is THIS: I will respond to the call of God, no matter what the cost,i will go for Him!!!!
then i was determined, despite knowing that i would get into trouble.
then my sister called, and told something about being wise, which was quite true. and i hesitated. really hesitated. i started to doubt, to waver, shaken so powerfully that i lost sight, and i was so confused.
sorry Marcus, i let you see the emo side of me. haha...
at that point, i seriously didnt thought of anything else, except for : next week bmt, shouts,quarrels, cold war, dissapointments.
i felt so lost at that time and i got so confused. my mind wasnt right, it went straight off the main road.
at that time, i didnt even thought of seeking God. gosh.
i just sat there, lost. stared. debated.
went to macs with Marcus, had a great talk with him.
at that point, i was, completely, lost. i didnt even had a clear thinking. i was worked up, nervous, heart pumping like crazy, swallowed lots of saliva, you can tell how worked-up i was at that time. haha.
i think, what Marcus said was quite true, which really impacted me alot.
Walk this Christian walk and never look back.(by Pastor Lia)Dont look to the left, to the right, just FOCUS on God!!! even if we are wrong, just smile and get over it. learn from it.
from the moment, i stood up and told Marcus "let's go", i feel something lifted up from my heart. like a burden was gone. i felt a much stronger peace, a much simpler mind, and my thoughts cleared off.
had a really great service. Pastor Kevin was great! Just realised that i am not boring :D heng ar! LOL.
when i got home, i was stepping in front of the gate. i heard my mum's voice. i told God, "God, give me strength"
and i opened the door and went in.
i told myself not to say anything, just keep quiet.
it lasted for 45mins, and the worse thing is, i nearly fell asleep. LOL
i was feeling so drowsy! you gotta understand mann, i woke up at 6.55am for BMT. HAHA.
felt so tired, but energised again when i worshipped God.
felt my faith rising, and my hopes too (:
i think, it really matters to trust and convictions.
i really gotta trust God WITH ALL MY LIFE. even if it means the ability to go church against my parent's will. I gotta lay down my life! ALL my life!
Convictions, what can i say?
felt that i was spiralling down for quite awhile.
but not anymore.
i think probably, this is because God is in this period of really toughening me up, really strenghten me and building me.
of all the things that was hurled at me, i was able to maintain. its just the period before the hurling part that i have to decide if i wanted to be hurled at.
decision changes our life. i cant afford to be indecisive!!
theres so much in my life that i need to change. i suddenly felt like a new christian. haha! i am already one year old. i still dont have what it takes to be a PTL just yet...
when situations get out of hand,
i think i gotta really stay calm. if things the day before happened, i didnt got upset the next day.i think i must learn on the situation itself to keep my emotions under control.
bye guys. today was such a day.
i thank God for His presence, His power. i thank Him for giving me great friends.
thanks Marcus. (: Love you mann. haha.
bye! (:
the fight of PO. continues...